Challenging „The one true Love“

These are notes from a short presentation which can be found here

The story we are told

Movies, pop music, advertisements, religion, tradition, and other societal influences currently tell us a very specific story about sexual desires and love:

This can lead to

This story can have quite devastating effects on the mental health of many people:

Why are we told this toxic story about love?

Sexual desire is hyped and commercialized. At the same time, love and sex are mostly treated as scarce goods while people are mostly isolated.

The „traditional“ family only became traditional in the middle of the 19th century.

The traditional family with the woman doing reproduction work stabilizes capitalism.

This is a frame from the movie „They live“ in which it becomes apparent to the main character that the message behind the ad is to marry and reproduce as the rulers know that this will keep people from rebelling against the system and produces the next generation of obedient workers.

Scene from Movie „They live“


The current story about love might stabilize capitalism but...

Not every problem someone has with his girlfriend is necessarily due to the capitalist mode of production.

Tell Different Stories

Once you realize the story we are commonly told about sex, love, and relationships is toxic, it's time to think about other stories that could be told.

This is an interesting thought experiment about what love is from the musical "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" (based on Plato):


There are concepts like Polyamory and Relationship Anarchy that are well thought through and used in practice. They can guide you through the endless possibilities of non-toxic and ethical relationships.

What the umbrella terms Polyamory and Relationship Anarchy have in common:

How does it work? - just like every good relationship should


Polyamory might not be for everyone but the skills you learn are:

More Resources

A newer text about love and relationships.

The Ethical Slut is a great introductory book which is reclaiming „slut“ as a sex-positive term:

The Ethical Slut book cover

There is also a web series inspired by the book: The Ethical Slut Web-Series

Relationship Anarchy

Zine With Open Hands